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Posts Tagged ‘thoughts’

New Blog

July 8th, 2010 Classmate Blogs No comments

Since I started posting about intern year, I’ve had several people say thanks and that they really enjoyed reading. I decided to start a new blog dedicated solely to thoughts on all these new experiences I’m having now.

Here’s the link.

I’ll try to post at least once or twice a week.

Thanks again for your thoughts, comments, and prayers. They mean a lot.

P.S. Yes, this means this space is now reserved for Bachelor stuff and the like. Although after that Jake and Vienna debacle the other night, I don’t know if I can justify watching anymore.

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New Blog

oh, nothing.

June 3rd, 2010 Classmate Blogs No comments

I’m in a rut. A blogging rut.
I just don’t feel like blogging.

I’m sure it will pass soon, because it’s not like I don’t have a constant stream of things to talk about. I mean just the other day I cleaned out my refrigerator and found some strange, sticky yellow gunk on the back of the bottom shelf. It took a soaking and a ScotchBrite to scrub it off- but I’m proud to announce I have a clean fridge. See what I mean? Riveting, eh? Well, there is always Lyvia starting swim lessons. But other than her just being dang cute in her yellow swimsuit- there isn’t too much to elaborate on. She is in the pool, splashing and having a jolly time. Happiness is water at our house. Speaking of water- the littlest Jones girl absolutely LOVES the tub now. I try to bathe her often. Well, that sounded odd. I mean I just bathe her a normal amount that anyone would bathe a baby. Plus, I slather her red-hair-fair skin with shea butter lotion with sunblock after every tub. It smells good, like clean baby. Lyv usually wants to “help” dress Millie- so I let her choose an outfit out of the drawer. It’s usually pink. Exciting stuff. I was also considering sharing my thoughts on little girls t-shirts with sayings on them. Here it is: People, there is no need for shirts with sayings like, “Daddy’s Girl” or “Princess Attitude” on them. Are you trying to give your child a complex or something? I wince when anyone in elementary school wears a shirt with any sort of “tween-age” statement on it. Stop buying these shirts and then there will be no demand and therefore- they will cease to exist. Although, my sister Bailey does have a shirt that says “love a lefty” with an awesome picture of this kid trying to write with his arm twisted awkwardly- the way a lefty does. Oh, yeah-it makes more sense if you know she’s left-handed. See, now you appreciate the cleverness of the shirt. And she’s graduated. As of today. Woah. My little sister is leaving high school for good. Now off to SUU to conquer the world and learn to make Slurpee runs at 11:30 at night before an exam. Bay is an amazing sister and I can’t wait for all the adventures to come for her. I’m not sure she’d appreciate me blogging about her future.

But, lucky for her- I don’t really feel like blogging.

It’s this rut I’m in.

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oh, nothing.

Thoughts From an ADD Lady

I’m almost 99% sure I’m ADD. Can hardly focus on one thing for more than 5 minutes! The web feeds my ADD. I can be working on my computer, think of something else and immediately get distracted, have the urge to google something or get caught up reading some article or facebook… you know what I mean right?! The same thing applies to my life, and when I say my life I’m talking about the BIG picture. You know me and that gigantic ring of eternity. I get so caught up in me, what I’m doing, what I’m going to do next, what I want, what I don’t want, I wish this and that… all worldly things mind you. And what happens when I walk this path of me-ness I forget about the important things, I forget to appreciate the little things, I forget to take a step back and breathe for a moment and think, I forget to pray, I forget to be grateful, I forget to do my personal spiritual study, I forget to pay attention! Well tonight I came across this little video, and the shining star is Stephanie Nielson aka Nie Nie. If your life hasn’t been graced in the blog world by this amazing woman yet, you better get on board. Nothing screams more joy, faith and triumph over trials than her story. She is an inspiration, and she’s always good at pulling on my heart strings when it comes to motherhood. A while ago, she nearly died in a plane crash and now suffers with more than half of her body burned and scarred, she’s had surgery after surgery and still presses forward. My favorite quote from her on the video is about motherhood. At times I struggle with the demands of being a Mom, not that I don’t love and cherish being a Mom, but it’s easy to forget who you are and just get caught up in the routine of things. Anyways, here is my favorite quote from her, and I love it because it kicks me in the pants, it’s a reminder to me to not get distracted, but stay focussed on what motherhood is.
“I’m just grateful for the opportunity to be here on earth. The opportunity to be a mother… I view my roll now as more divine. Something more, not just a mother who wakes up and makes her kids food, it’s a mother who enriches and teaches about the gospel of Jesus Christ. But it’s a privilege, and I see it more as a privilege now I think.
To me beauty and motherhood are one. They are the same thing.”

Then she goes on and talks about how the trials of the plane crash
have transformed her view on life,

“I am grateful for this trial, it is a blessing…”


Elder Holland:
“When suffering we may in fact be nearer to God than we’ve ever been in our entire lives. Regarding our journey the Lord says,

“I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left. My Spirit shall be in your hearts and my angels round about you to bare you up.”

That is the everlasting declaration of God’s love and care for us.
Including perhaps especially in times of trouble.

I have no doubt that God loves all of this children. And what I think is so fascinating is that he didn’t say I will protect you from this or that, but he basically said I will be with you. As a mother I look at my boys, they will grow up and have to make their own choices, they will experience hard things, have their set of trials etc. I can’t protect them from harm, I can’t make sure they never feel pain, loneliness or grief, but I can tell them I will always be there for them and I will always love them. This experience of motherhood has increased my faith and knowledge that God indeed LOVES all, he is there with open arms at all times to welcome us. His plan wasn’t for us to come to earth and have a cake walk, but to experience life, trials, pain, happiness, joy… and we all know you can’t have one without the other.
He is there for us, ALWAYS.
Ok now that I’ve shared my thoughts on the video, you can watch it and gather up your own!
Hope you enjoy it as much as I did!
To watch the video, click here.
To check out her blog, click here.

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Thoughts From an ADD Lady

Thoughts from an Urban Designer

April 6th, 2010 Classmate Blogs No comments

Recently Jeni and I moved into Sugarhouse, a SLC suburb well known for it’s charm and bungalow style homes. It may not be the cream of the crop but it has held it’s real estate value very well over the years.

I was fortunate enough to walk to work through the quiet streets while everything was muffled in fresh snow, giving me a perfect environment to fall deep into my thoughts. I compared the old suburb of Sugarhouse to the suburbs that we design today. By ‘we’ I mean myself, the architecture firm I work for, developers and other people in the industry. We try so hard to create quality homes and neighborhoods that are affordable, and profitable, but ironically do the opposite of what has already been shown to work.
I want compare Sugarhouse to the suburb’s that are created today.
1. We block connections. Sugarhouse creates connections.
Today’s suburbs are deathly afraid of strange vehicles wandering onto their project. Only the bare minimum connections to the outside world are allowed (2). Sugarhouse has no cul-de-sacs or dead end streets. People can drive and walk any direction the please, and they do. It is great.
2. We predetermine personality. Sugarhouse expresses it’s own personality.
Most new suburbs predetermine their style and are fearful of any single person breaking the original ‘theme’ or ‘built in personality’. What is beautiful about Sugarhouse is it’s eclectic nature. During Sugarhouse’s creation there were cookie cutter homes placed on miles upon miles of land and every home owner is allowed to change the homes appearance to their own desire. Neighborhoods need to be able to express themselves.
3. We create quasi public homes. Sugarhouse created private homes.
One thing that is great about old subdivisions is that land is divided and sold. Owners get their land. We create PUD’s (Planned Unit Development) which basically means you own the inside of your home and a HOA manages the rest. This is great if you don’t want to take care or participate in any yard work. However it comes with additional private taxes and fees. It creates an additional level of bureaucracy. PUD’s have signs at their gates which encourage a sense of ‘us’ versus ‘them’, a mentality that often generates mistrust and misunderstanding of others. PUD’s remove a sense of ownership and personal responsibility. PUD’s are not a part of the community, they are a removal from it.
4. We build garages. Sugarhouse built homes.
New suburb streets are lined with garage doors and little else. Most Sugarhouse homes have detached garages hidden in the back, or no garage at all. People would probably vote for a Sugarhouse in a beauty contest but buy into an ugly street full of garages. Funny how people don’t realize they prefer ugly convenience over beautiful homes.
5. We make streets for cars. Sugarhouse made streets for people.
Drive down any neighborhood street in Sugarhouse and you would probably feel like it’s too small. You drive slow and cautious. It’s safe for the residents. Drive down a new subdivision and the roads are probably wide with big round curves. You’ll probably drive faster and pay less attention. It’s not safe for the residents but it’s convenient for the cars.
6. We cut the bottom line for bigger profits. Sugarhouse built their homes to last.
It is expensive to built homes and developers need to make money. Several years back I bought into a brand new condo development. Within a few years, all the shortcuts and discounted building materials started wearing out and it continually costs the condo owners money. Developers get to walk away with the money and take no responsibility for the quality of their product. The home I recently purchased in Sugarhouse is nearly 100 years old. The inspector says it easily has 50 more years in it. Will modern cheep homes last this long? Only time will tell.
The past few years I’ve really critiqued the neighborhoods that I am in. I would say that rarely a great neighborhood has been built in several decades.

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Thoughts from an Urban Designer

Little Drage

March 11th, 2010 Classmate Blogs No comments

We are so excited to be having our first baby! We found out today that it is going to be………(drum roll)……… A BOY!! Andrew is absolutely ecstatic as am I! God definitely knows what he is doing because I don’t think Andrew could handle another female living with him right now. It was amazing to see how much the baby has grown and developed. We saw the spine, all four chambers of the heart, and the tiniest little facial features. He is a very mobile little guy! I feel him move constantly and during the ultrasound he would not hold still. He’s already just like his parents.

We are due August 4th and haven’t bought one baby item yet. We gotta get moving! Our top names are Brixton, Carson, and Ethan (curious to know your thoughts).

Here are the first pics of our boy!


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Little Drage

Love is Making Changes

February 14th, 2010 Classmate Blogs No comments

“One can make a day of any size and regulate the rising and
the setting of his own sun and the brightness of its shining.”
-John Muir
I’ll be honest. I’ve been quite the “debbie downer” lately. Been super good at seeing all the negatives and letting myself get lost in the muck. I’m fabulous at worrying. Worrying stirs up emotions and unknowns that blow up into what ifs and what if nots… etc. etc. And then it’s a mad whirlwind of well, madness!
The good thing is I can recognize when I get in this funk, and I try to pinpoint what is going on in my life that is making me feel this way. What is the core issue?
I am facing facts. There is a chunk of my life that I am ignoring, and it’s a very important chunk that needs to be rejoined to make me – me, to help me become my better self. This chunk that I am missing is my spiritual study. I’m terrible at reading my scriptures daily! This is true, and to be even more frank, I choose not to. I choose to do a million other things than read my scriptures! Granted, some of them are reasonable yet others not so much. (like reading blogs all afternoon!)
The last time I read the Book of Mormon cover to cover was 4 years ago while we were living in London. And most of that had to do with the help of my husband who, without fail had us read together every night. I have made a new goal (started yesterday) of reading the Book of Mormon cover to cover in the next 6 months. When I first had that goal I thought to myself, “but that’s not what you do! you can’t just start reading after you haven’t read!” I felt guilty for not reading daily and I felt like a hypocrite to just start diving into it! But I ignored those thoughts, and I’m thrilled and excited for the change it will bring to my life.
Funny how I know that by simply reading this book, my life will be blessed in countless ways, yet at the same time I find it one of the hardest things to do even though I know it’s good for me! Anyways, these are my thoughts lately, just thought I’d share incase if any of you go through that same cycle I do. And if you feel up to it, you can join me in my goal, always helps to have a little support group :)
PS Isn’t my baby huge?! We took this picture last week and I was terribly depressed to see his little feet dangle down to my thigh! He’s like half my size!
PPS Hope you all are having a lovely Valentine’s Day!

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Love is Making Changes

Thoughts…

February 9th, 2010 Classmate Blogs No comments

I’m feeling a bit down today. My mom, who got here on Saturday and was supposed to stay until Friday, had to leave today because my Grandma Smith (her mom) has had a massive stroke and is laying on life support in a hospital in Utah. I’m wishing I were there with my family. And because of this, my thoughts have been consumed by the influence and power a mother can and does have over her children.

A little over a month ago, we were playing hide and go seek as a family one night. I was hiding in the kitchen while Brad counted, and Nick ran over to join me. He sat on my lap, looked up at me with a huge grin on his face and said “I love you, Mom.” This is not something he iniates saying on his own very often, and I melted. He was so happy and was having so much fun. It reminded me of my favortie quote from my favorite talk:

          
“Recognize that the joy of motherhood comes in moments.
There will be hard times and frustrating times.
But amid the challenges, there are shining moments of
joy and satisfaction.” -Russel M. Ballard
Nick has grown up a lot lately. I'm finally starting to feel like my consistency is paying off (er…maybe he's just growing and maturing). All I know is that I love this boy. And I'm grateful to a Father in Heaven who helps me with my patience and dilligence to try and be the kind of mother he, and Chase, deserve.
PS- Tonight Chase purposefully knocked over and broke a vase that he knows he’s not supposed to touch. While on time out he sang “Love At Home” at the top of his lungs.
It was awesome! :)

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Thoughts…

Service

January 21st, 2010 Classmate Blogs No comments

I’ve been thinking about my missionary family members lately. My in laws have decided to extend their mission in Switzerland 5 more months making their mission 23 months! My little brother is serving in the Dominican Republic now 4 months in the field. Lately when I’ve been discouraged or stressed out, I have found my thoughts directed to them. When I think about them selflessly serving, it makes my stresses a little less. I have decided to serve when and where I can in 2010. Teaching small adorable primary children is an important act of service, but come on! thats more fun than anything! I know there is always more I can do. Simply seeing the people in my life give of their time and talents for the benefit of others is inspiring and brings a smile to my face. I love them and cant wait to see their faces.

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Service

Riley Turned Two!

December 21st, 2009 Classmate Blogs No comments


Riley turned two years old on Saturday December 19. I don’t even know how to describe the excitement I have been feeling these last few days about being able to see my little boy turn 2. With everything that was happening with in that first year of his life our thoughts of him being here as healthy as he is for his second birthday were far from our minds. He has grown into such an amazing little boy with a personality all his own. I try to imagine what he would be like if he were able to be up and about as a regular 2 year old. I see him following daddy around wanting to do everything that he is doing. I see him climbing up on my lap with one of his favorite books. I see him talking with his papa and cuddling with grama. I see him shooting some hoops with cousin Nick. I see him getting into things he knows he’s not suppose to. The funny thing about all this is though is that riley does all of these things with out having to walk. He always wants what daddy has and he wants to be doing what daddy is doing. He loves to sit on my lap with a good story to read. He loves to talk to his papa and watch sports with him. Although he can’t physically shoot the hoops with nick he is there to cheer him on. And for a kid who can’t get up and move around he always finds a way to get a hold of something he’s not suppose to have. These are fun reminders for me that I do have a regular 2 year old boy! Now enough of the sentimental side note let’s get down to why we are all here…pictures of the party! First off the best part of Riley’s birthday was that santa clause came to the house to see him. I was a little worried that Riley would be scared of santa but he just cuddled right up to him and told him all about what he wanted for christmas.



later that afternoon we had lots of friends and family come over to celebrate. Thanks to everyone for all the great gifts.
This is the dinosaur cake I made. I think it turned out pretty cute.

Riley had fun opening his presents. He seemed to know what the present thing was all about and was excited to see what was inside






Carly, Kyle and Juliet came too. I don’t know what I would do with out these people in my life. I don’t know what Riley would do either. He thinks they are just the greatest. Especially kyle, Riley thinks he is just so funny!

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Riley Turned Two!

The Amazing Date: Part 1

November 22nd, 2009 Classmate Blogs No comments

So the Amazing Date happened this past weekend. And there are so many ridiculous things I could blog about I honestly don’t even know how to gather my thoughts. Seriously, I should have brought a notepad to take scrupulous notes on the level of entertainment that was achieved this Saturday night.

The entire group of 200 single people all had a meet at an office building where we mingled, listened to the boring “date doctor” and then have the most awkward pairing situation of our lives.

First off, I absolutely loved how “done up” everyone was. It was lovely. 200 of my closest friends all looking and smelling good hoping beyond hope that they end up on a date with their #1. Oh, and if they didn’t want to make this whole date even more awkward, they (the creators of the group) decided that they would crown a King and Queen of the Amazing Date. The male and female that had the most people put them in their “top ten” were crowned. Seriously. Ridiculous. I kind of felt like I was back in high school again.

The “Date Doctor” did make a few good points. But her delivery could have used some serious work. What I took away from her is that I shouldn’t judge so quickly. Yes lady, I know that. I am working on it. I didn’t need you to tell me that. I have my mother, grandmother, sister, aunt, cousin, great-aunt, second cousin, younger brother, dad, coworker and friends all telling me that. I think we got it covered.

Anyway, so we didn’t find out who we were being set up with until after the mingling and date doctor shenanigans. The anticipation was killing me. Seriously, just tell me who I am going out with. It was a little bit like Christmas morning.

And so, the way they told us who we were going out with was by calling your name and your dates name over the microphone and making you walk out of the room together. Yes, sufficiently awkward.

Want to know what was even more awkward? They got my name mixed up with someone else’s so for about 3 minutes I didn’t think I had a date.

I may or may not have sent the following text messages to my friend Nicole:

Um, they don’t have a date for me. This is the saddest day of my life.

which was followed two minutes later by this:

False alarm. They found him. I’m not going to kill myself.

And so, stay tuned for the actual date story. It’s a good one. You won’t be disappointed.

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The Amazing Date: Part 1

What Is Patriotism To YOU?

October 17th, 2009 Dan No comments

In the past few weeks I have had so much time to reflect on what the word patriotism means to me. In the dictionary it is defined as “love of and/or devotion to one’s country.” On the surface I would agree but I have found that the love is much deeper than simply saluting the flag, singing the national anthem before a sports event or reciting the pledge of allegiance usually only during Flag Day ceremonies once a year. I have found that for me it is being grateful for the country that I live in, and taking care of it because it is the only one we have. It is being proud of and thankful to all those who have, are, or will ever sacrifice to keep this land one of liberty. Since Pete has been in basic I find myself getting teary-eyed whenever I see anyone in uniform, and my ears perk up if I hear someone discuss the war. I used to not even care because it was day in and day out that it is on the news.

And then my husband became part of it, I became part of it.
Those people giving their lives are someone’s husband/wife, father/mother, son/daughter, or sister/brother. And they are doing this because they choose to. There is no draft, or law that requires them to be in the line of fire. True, many of them may have signed up purely for financial reasons but I believe there comes a time that they embrace the role of soldier, and protector and continue because it is about the men next to them. It’s not easy to have them away, and it’s frustrating to not know if they are safe but I do know now more than ever that God keeps his promises and He knows the ultimate plan and that is all I need to know.
This past week I was able to visit Independence Hall and the Liberty Bell. It brought history to life and gave it a whole new meaning. The guide repeatedly said that if it wasn’t for those men, the founding fathers, than we may still belong to another country, or we may not be able worship how we would like to, and there would be no “American Dream.” The guide was right, we owe it to those men to get to know them and read about their lives so we can keep this country guided on the path and values that they worked so diligently to establish.
America will always be ONE NATION UNDER GOD!

What are your thoughts? Have you had any experiences that caused you to be more patriotic?

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What Is Patriotism To YOU?

It's time again to step back and take a look at the big

October 15th, 2009 Dan No comments

It’s time again to step back and take a look at the big picture…

I got a comment yesterday from Brady and at first I thought it was a spam comment because it was on a really old post, but when I read it I found that it actually offered some pretty good advice:

Carly, I love the way you write. It’s a very compelling style…but listen to what Penelope Trunk says: good blogs have themes. Now that your wedding theme is mostly over with, are you blogging about the newlywed experience? about how weird it is to not know what your next bold move is? clarifying a theme for yourself will make the blog better, imho.

This is a good point. This blog has turned into sort of a free-for-all about whatever I’m thinking when I get up in the morning and it’s making it harder to read AND harder for me to post.

That comment also says a mouthful about my life right now. What is this about? What is my focus? Should I be spending all my time job hunting? Should I be working on my writing because I have the opportunity to do so? Should I be trying to sell things on Etsy to contribute to the family income? Should I be working out for six hours a day?

The reality is that I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing and I don’t know what my goals are right now. It’s the weirdest, haziest time I’ve ever had in my life. For once, nobody is pushing me or expecting me to do anything and, as a result, I’m in limbo, caught between 20 different paths.

When I was still in Ohio, I wrote about the person that I wanted to be. Now that I’m here and two months have gone by, it’s probably a good time to check in on my progress:

25 Things that My Ideal Self Will Do (posted 08/13/09):

  1. Get back into photography and take it seriously. (I’ve added the three photo blogs to my website and I’m trying to take a camera wherever I go. My photography blog is also slowly getting off the ground, although I need to add a lot to my portfolio.)
  2. Get back into charcoal portraits. (I’m trying to get Kyle to take a night charcoal class with me at the U extension, but he’s on the fence about drawing live nude models. If he doesn’t end up coming, I’ll probably hit the class anyway next January.)
  3. Write things that have nothing to do with blogging, journaling, or academics. (I’ve been writing more fiction, but nothing yet that I’m willing to hang my hat on.)
  4. Make her own clothing. (Haven’t started, haven’t done anything. Haven’t even sewn on buttons or repaired seams since I moved here.)
  5. Read library books and buy old editions from secondhand stores. (I’ve been reading up a storm, but I haven’t gotten my library card yet. I admit to being addicted to Amazon because I like getting stuff in the mail…)
  6. Buy and redesign secondhand furniture. (Ha ha. Yeah, that’s not going to happen until we have somewhere to put it. I can only imagine my parents reaction if I showed up with a dining room set that needed a second life.)
  7. Use public transportation on a regular basis. (I don’t go anywhere, but I’ve got Kyle taking TRAX at least once a week.)
  8. Attend community events, especially the arts. (Nothing so far, but I’m hopeful.)
  9. Not tempt herself by having cable. (Failing miserably and enjoying the 900 channels available in this house.)
  10. Go to church at least twice a month. (Rocking this goal! I think we actually found a Methodist church last Sunday that we’re going to stick to for a while.)
  11. Put real effort into collecting family history. (Did it and found out that Kyle’s ancestory stretches back into Sweden, 800 A.D.)
  12. Run my own business. (I’m working on it, but not ready yet.)
  13. Shop local, especially the farmer’s markets. (Shopping local, but I haven’t made it to the Saturday morning farmer’s market yet.)
  14. Be involved in social groups formed around common interests. (Nothing, but I plan on it.)
  15. Mentor a child or find another way to give back. (Nothing yet.)
  16. Brush up my Spanish and start learning French. (Haven’t done a thing.)
  17. Surprise friends and family with mail. (I plan on it, but haven’t yet.)
  18. Handmake presents and other items. (Christmas is coming…)
  19. Wear my favorite perfume every day. (I’m at about 50%)
  20. Buy really fun socks and wear them without embarrassment. (Not yet.)
  21. Paint my nails. (Totally painted and gorgeous.)
  22. Take day trips with my husband whenever we can. (Not yet, but we get around.)
  23. Learn to play the guitar. (Haven’t even tried to start.)
  24. Kick ass at Tomb Raider without feeling like a teenage boy. (Nope. Nada.)
  25. Listen to my folk music (even though nobody else does) and lose track of MTV’s hottest. (Totally not happening. My last iTunes purchases included Beyonce, Chris Brown, and the cast of Glee)

I think that’s what this blog is about…that fight to become better at all of the mundane parts that make up my currently inconsequential life. I know that that’s about the most amorphous goal I could be working towards, but it’s the thread that’s holding it all together. I just need to keep myself on that focus whenever I feel like blogging about my thoughts on the history of cheese.

And if you’re wondering about life as a newlywed or unemployment or all of those other concrete things I could be blogging about, here is an update:


LIFE AS A NEWLYWED: I love my husband and I love being married more than I’ve ever loved anything I’ve ever done. Being in our late-twenties and living with my parents is not always great, but it’s good more often than not. We’ve spent a lot of time with my family and we really make an effort at saving time for ourselves and keeping our relationship as our big priority. We’ve been looking at houses and talking about the future, including moving towards getting pregnant, but we don’t have any definite plans to change anything right now.

UNEMPLOYMENT: So much harder than you’d think! I have days where I get really depressed about not having anywhere to go or anyone to see and I’ve applied for a few jobs in the hopes that something good will happen. The reality is that I’m still being very picky about where I’m applying to and if I don’t think that I’m going to love the job and completely dominate it, I haven’t been applying. Whether I’ll get less picky as time goes on remains to be seen. At the moment, I’m still optomistic that the right opportunity will find me.

WEIGHT LOSS: I started a diet blog and I’m putting a lot of energy towards fitness as my new project. It’s hard, because everything about my weight is depressing and thinking about it really takes energy, but I’m really, really trying and it’s starting to pay off. I’m hoping that this is the time in my life where I’ll turn things around for good!

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It's time again to step back and take a look at the big